Not even New Year yet and I'm worrying about school....

I honestly don't know what to say when faced with the question, "What do you plan to do after school?", I stick to the autopilot response, "Oh umm Pharmacy :) yea its the easiest medical one to get into I guess.". But I really have lost direction these past few years.... Grade 9 was a huge confidence booster, Getting my first A's in school for maths, I know I'm asian A's are meant to be easy in maths, well guess what not all asians are built to be calculators! :). year 10 was the bit were I started falling, I pushed myself harder to do well in school but was met with only satisfactory results, which frustrated me alot... My motivation to change/adapt to the required level of success was lowered day-by-day. Year 11(this year) has been the crash and burn.... personal problems aswell ass stress from school, crushed my confidence and spread chaos throughout my mind. I could not understand how hours of work could merely turn out to be a C. This frustation was accompanied by the everyday life of a teenager that  unpredictable and had many events that would furthermore stall my achievements. I achieved very little that I am proud of this year... but the things I am proud of continue to fuel my motivation. Although I am trying to keep a positive attitude I can't help but worry about my final year of highschool, Year 11 was meant to be my adjustment to the senior workload but it has been a disaster. There is no time to prepare for year 12. I have to work efficiently and with whats left of my torn up confidence. I need to achieve maximum results and I need to do that without knowing what my best work would look like.  I will be faced by sleepless nights and hours upon hours on non-stop concentration. I almost forgot whats at stake... My whole life will be determined by this coming years outcome, my family's name will be severed if I fail but renown if I am successful. If I am to live a life without the worry of not having enough money or have to work hard labor, I must sever all relations to friends and family and force myself into exile so that my life, my world and my friends are circled around study  and good grades. *sigh* You gotta do what you gotta do....